Burley Garcia|I love being a mom. But JD Vance is horribly wrong about 'childless cat ladies.'

From the time I was young,Burley Garcia I wanted to be two things in life: a mom and a lawyer.

Because of the twists and turns of life, I didn't go to law school. (You can thank me for reducing the population of attorneys by one.) But I did become a mom to four kids.

And, to my delight, I followed a vocational path that fits me better than practicing law.

I gave birth to my first son at 25 and my last at 31. I don't regret the choice to have several children − and at a young age.

Because of how much I love being a mom, I tell women who are unsure about motherhood to go ahead: Have babies. Have babies young. And have a lot of babies. But it's not for the reasons you probably think. And it's certainly not so women can avoid being labeled a "childless cat lady."

Stop being mean to women who aren't moms

As much as I advocate that women should have babies and do so while they're young, I don't like the rhetoric I'm hearing about women who choose not to have children. Sen. JD Vance of Ohio, the Republican vice presidential nominee, has gotten heat for slamming women who for various reasons do not have children.

In 2021 while on "Tucker Carlson Tonight," Vance smeared childless women in power.

“We are effectively run in this country … by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made, and so they wanna make the rest of the country miserable, too,” Vance said. "It's just a basic fact. You look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez), the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children."

All politicians say dumb things. On this, we can unite. In trying to bash Democrats, Vance attacked women without kids. His comments about women being "childless cat ladies" and "miserable" are a common sentiment among Republicans, especially men. It's wrong, mean and certainly doesn't win women over politically.

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To be sure, society needs children, and the United States thrives when families are robust. While I think there is value in a woman bearing children, this is not to say that if she chooses not to or can't have children, she's without worth or value.

Suggesting that women have a stake in this country only if they have kids is narrow-minded and simply untrue. Arguing that mothers are more valuable than non-mothers reeks of misogyny.

Women are more than their reproductive systems, as powerful and important as those are.

Motherhood is a vital and urgent responsibility

The debate over women and motherhood is not new and runs far deeper than "cat lady" comments. There are exceptions and disparities, but overall, gender parity is better than it's ever been. Women are making more money (and sometimes outearning men). They're also earning more university degrees than men.

In spite − or because of − all this choice, women aren't doing one thing: having babies. The U.S. fertility rate has fallen to a record low. And more women than ever are single, which comes with financial and emotional costs.

Hardly a week goes by where I don't see an anecdote on social media or read a story of a woman in her 30s or 40s who put her career first. Suddenly she has an overwhelming biological urge to bear children, but she's either not in a relationship or struggling to become pregnant. Perhaps she's faced with the agonizing decision of whether to freeze her eggs, so that at some point her dream can become a reality.

It breaks my heart.

I'm a Republican woman.Progressives are wrong about what I believe.

Sometimes women and men face fertility issues regardless of age, but many women believed that they could pursue a career first and still become a mom whenever they want. Sometimes that is still possible. Other times, it's too late.

Regardless of how career-driven a woman is, if she thinks she wants to have children someday, I encourage her not to delay childbearing until later. Women have reached new heights socially and economically. They're free to do almost anything they want. But some things are still hardwired biologically. Fertility is one of them.

Sometimes women can have both an incredible career and children they adore. I do think we can have it all, or most of it all, all at once. But there is an order to things. Doing it "all" out of order could affect whether or not a woman goes to bed at night thinking she has it all.

Should a woman choose between a career or motherhood?

There is another reason I suggest that women who want children, or who are unsure about children, don't wait. (Notice, I'm not saying all women should have children!)

A lot of women wait to have kids because they prioritize their career first, either because they want to or because they've been told they should. Having a career is satisfying. I'm glad we live in an era where women can have thriving careers in nearly any field if they want to. Not all women are suited to having children, and if they really don't want to have them, they shouldn't. They should find joy in their vocation, community, family and hobbies.

But a lot of women have a nurturing side that is almost exclusively satisfied through bearing children. I tend to think this is because it's innately more satisfying than vocational success − or at least, it's satisfying in a different way that taps into a deep part of a woman's being. Kind of like the difference between running a marathon and earning an associate degree. Both are achievements, but they bring different kinds of satisfaction.

Becoming a mom is one of the best choices I've made. At 31, I had four kids under the age of 6. In a month, three of my four kids will be teenagers. (Say a prayer and make a donation!)

In the blink of an eye I went from changing diapers to teaching a teen to drive. In what felt like moments, I went from bandaging boo-boos to attending marching band performances. Parenting is truly all-consuming. It is this factor that makes it both exhausting and rewarding in a way little else does.

Women (and men): If you're looking for deep meaning, greater purpose, a thing that will outlive you, and consume every fiber of your heart and soul, parenting will do that.

Dads, do your part

A final point: I've written about this topic many times because it's deeply important. I always get feedback. But it's not usually from women telling me they don't want kids or women demanding to know how I dare lecture them about their rights and their bodies.

The negative feedback I get is often from women who do have children and they're overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion. They often think I must have an incredible husband providing for me at home and who enables me to have such an elevated view of motherhood. But I am, in fact, a single mom.

These women don't just have it all, they feel like they're doing it all, too. They want to know when their husbands, boyfriends or their kids' dads will do more. Not just "help" ‒ but earn money, be a parent and also perform household tasks.

As women make more money than ever before, research shows they still do more of the household and child-rearing tasks. It seems that in 2024, gender parity goes only so far.

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This is where men need to look around and take stock: Are you providing, but not doing your share of household tasks? Are you sharing your income, but don't know the names of your kids' friends, teachers or doctors? Do you see your kids, but don't teach them how to cook, clean, play sports and be kind? It's a lot, I know. But it's a lot for women, too.

Parenting is wonderful and important. Women shouldn't forgo having children for the sake of a career, only to find out too late, they've missed out on the chance to be a mom. But women who can't have children or choose not to shouldn't be slammed, either.

Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.